CONSTELLATION WORKS
General Therapeutic Context
From: "Dane E. Rose" <dane@happinessdata.org>
To: constellationworks@gmail.com
Sent: 1/24/2019 6:06:43 PM
Subject: A Challenge to Honor the Feminine
To: constellationworks@gmail.com
Sent: 1/24/2019 6:06:43 PM
Subject: A Challenge to Honor the Feminine
Hello Michael,
I contacted you some months ago leaving a voice-message that I had some unfinished business about our past work and might, depending on how we resolved that, want to do more work together. You called back a week later and forgot the request to clear up some things and did not want to talk then. I suggested you call me any time you had free time, noting that after 7pm I had a lot of availability but that you could try any time spontaneously. I don't know but did not notice any call or attempt.
I'm addressing this e-mail in a context of what I see as a larger pattern, which I share with you so you can better spot your role in that pattern. I've observed it in 250k of personal growth work doing thousands of hours in a variety of modalities with 40 practitioners:
1) I present a problem.
2) Therapist/healer does their thing as they do their thing, usually avoiding a diagnostic protocol of any kind.
3) Sometimes it works, sometimes it makes things worse, sometimes it's hard to tell.
4) Therapist/healer does not do anything further but their thing, regardless of outcome.
5) If I bring up negative impact of any kind it is deflected/minimized/low-prioritized and often shifted back at me with: "Well it worked for this person over here so there must be something wrong with you since I did the same thing." (When there is no diagnosis this is the equivalent of saying "I gave more salt to this person" (who did not have enough by chance)" and then blaming the patient when too much salt damaged the next person (who had too much salt, which is also random when testing is not done). Healing is about restoring balance.
Why I see this as an expression of Chauvinism: the innate unquestioned belief and behavior that feminine energy and expressions and harm is less valuable than masculine expression and harm:
Masculine expressions: Money. External. Physical. Teaching. Professional. Leading. Directing. Focusing. Protocol.
Feminine expressions: Feelings. Internal. Learning. Receiving. Following. Being influenced. Responding. Opening. Essence. (I have made an eight hour exploration free on video if you want to look at these polarities in more detail and don't relate, but if all interaction is understood to have a polarity (to have a listen, someone must speak and for communication someone must speak and listen - the listening being more yin and feminine - then you may get what I'm saying here).
If I go to a physical doctor they diagnose the overall pattern, seek to influence it, will recommend me to other specialists and will ask me to follow up. They take some responsibility for mistakes (exerting influence to steer someone into deeper imbalance through ignorance or negligence) rather than towards wholeness and balance. This is a science in physical domains in large part due to cultural rejection of the feminine.
Dissociation from one's group, community, betrayal by a leader, dishonored by incompetent masculine energy: these are feminine wounds. I came to you with the most intense feminine wounds I've needed to deal with.
What I am observing is the impact of:
a) Your suggestion that I move on and get away from the Human Awareness Institute.
b) Your lack of follow-up about your influence and it's impact.
c) Your lack of focus on my having needed resources and support to do well.
d) A lack of awareness of or acknowledgment of the incompleteness of your resource.
e) Failure to consider the community: A trauma therapist has now been sexually abused at HAI and is no longer able to help heal sexually abused children because neither you nor I adequately protected HAI's community by acting fully on the data and reporting abuse. In other words, imagine you had a daughter who you learned was abused by a therapist because I had advised prior abuse-survivors to "move on" without considering the community (the feminine expression, the masculine expression being the individual).
f) Failure to prioritize cleaning up your impact. I'm sure we would have another session by now if I had scheduled one when you called, suggesting that in your world cleaning up issues is lower priority than moving on - something I experience with the vast majority of practitioners.
b) Your lack of follow-up about your influence and it's impact.
c) Your lack of focus on my having needed resources and support to do well.
d) A lack of awareness of or acknowledgment of the incompleteness of your resource.
e) Failure to consider the community: A trauma therapist has now been sexually abused at HAI and is no longer able to help heal sexually abused children because neither you nor I adequately protected HAI's community by acting fully on the data and reporting abuse. In other words, imagine you had a daughter who you learned was abused by a therapist because I had advised prior abuse-survivors to "move on" without considering the community (the feminine expression, the masculine expression being the individual).
f) Failure to prioritize cleaning up your impact. I'm sure we would have another session by now if I had scheduled one when you called, suggesting that in your world cleaning up issues is lower priority than moving on - something I experience with the vast majority of practitioners.
What I would like to see happen in your field as a pattern for addressing the message that emotional areas are less valuable than physical areas for healing:
- An introductory writing or video by you that covers the following:
- Timothy Leary did a Harvard study some years back which showed that 1/3rd of participants in therapy got better, 1/3rd stayed the same and 1/3rd got worse over a year - which was no different than the control. I think it must be acknowledged that mental/emotional technology is in a more rudimentary state than auto-mechanics because of the absence of investment in research and development due to culturally valuing money and transportation more. This is not the client's fault, but they will pay for it since therapists charge more than auto-mechanics with less reliability, certainty and success.
- When something is not going well, it is partly the therapists responsibility: Meaning, If I see my clients clearly and fully and I know my limits and job, I can see and have a responsibility to see who I can't help at all, who I can only help partially and who I can fully heal. In the first case my ethical responsibility is to decline the work (even if a window cleaner can clean the windows it is unethical for them to do so when someone calls them for a sprained ankle). In the second case the issue is most important: I must help them understand: "This seems incomplete. It seems important that you seek help in some of these areas and I don't see clearly enough to know."
- I think the off-set terrains are important to understand and communicate in writing - helping people branch out.
- Guidelines for a refund are also important: As a client I am trusting your paradigm, your ethics, your desire and ability to help with my innocence, time, money and physical effort. If I come out of that process weaker then I arrived then you as a professional do not have an ethical basis for weakening someone by accepting those investments and then leaving them yet weaker because rather than right an imbalance, you amplified it due to a lack of groundwork and history.
- Some sense of your statistics and encouragement of people to read past clients' things.
- An application online, shared by many healers seems like a good place to organize much of this - and share meta-data about and with other healers, and see patterns of success and failure.
- Providing comprehensive online feedback gives a sense of the odds of something working and is good practice.
The impact of our work was helpful in several areas as an integration tool. I'm grateful for that work. It was bright and beautiful in several areas:
- The chance to engage with several trans-cultural facets of our psyche helped me understand that all my imbalances came from human relationships and did not exist in my relationship with Other.
It was shaming and harmful in other areas:
- Your message of "move on" from HAI shows a lack of awareness for patterns, community responsibility and ethics. I'm now learning other people were sexually abused at HAI because they write to me now that I've built a website to warn them: www.AbuseAtHumanAwarenessInstitute.org. If you extrapolate your message to me to the forty years of sexual abuse survivors at HAI then you understand your role in a cover up: telling each person to "move on," just leaves the next innocent person ripe for abuse, while the last one "moves on."
- Your suggestion that I be able to "just move on," was shaming because I could not. I developed a food addiction, could not sleep and found that I had to address it.
- Your lack of emotion, warmth and offer to help in this situation as a man becomes part of the reason I feel unwelcome and less safe in our culture, reducing my interest in working with professionals, who don't want to engage with the emotions at hand. I believe that a healthy man hearing about these situations would show the emotions that I have been too humiliated as a child for feeling to fully express. I would imagine that you have also been shamed for emotion because people in the empathic brain regions cannot help but weep at some of these regions of pain and you have pain of your own that is well worth weeping over. So what is the expression of stony-faced control but a denial of the feminine in the interaction based on cultural shame that extends to the dogma that it is "unprofessional" to have deep feelings or cry.
I have mixed feelings about this. You grew up in the same culture of grief, shame and emotional illiteracy as I have. That leaves scars and wounds. You are doing something that helps about 30% which I support. You also represent in this pattern the underlying chauvinism that devalues the feminine in me, yourself and clients, as I experience and understand it. If you are like a majority of practitioners your regard will be to defend your professional reputation and image rather than for how this hurts me and your clients, as well as your own feminine. Yet the role of a healer is to transcend the culture, transcend the dogma and chauvinism and know that inter-connectedness, beauty, truth and goodness is more important than money and other bits of paper - and it is an honor to serve as the bridge between the ego and the vastness of the unknown, in all Her radiant beauty. I invite you to own that position more fully than you already do. It's not easy to make this pivot in our paradigms, but it is far more easy than the suffering that results from butchering the feminine to operate within incomplete paradigms of wholeness.
I would like you to reply both personally and with your perspective on healing in general if you have an opinion about that and would like to discuss your reply through various outlets in my efforts to help highlight areas healing can lift to a higher resonance in both it's masculine and feminine expression.
Meta: When the feminine is deeply shamed since birth and traumatized into silence to survive, it takes great courage and facing strong traumatic fear to honor her again. It has taken time, courage and facing a fear of dying to communicate from this place. I would like to see you open to this domain so that you can usher people through this portal without them feeling they need to fight you to do it alone. I am fighting you because I believe you and your clients will benefit from this fight. I believe I honor your small, silenced feminine at the same time as I honor mine and your clients because it is part of one field. So I will keep fighting with a documentary about the pitfalls of healing I've experienced in my 250k of work and with more than 1000 hours of video I've made on topics since we spoke to help give voice to the marginalized, hidden and threatened regions within our psyche. If you want to partner in that honoring, let me know. I've formed a non-profit to help contribute in these areas. I've also made a video outlining my understanding of therapeutic competency: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/xnsidwkbj8cs0fk/AABOrN-UkWY2179WO1AQMM9oa?dl=0
Sincerely,
Dane
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/24/2019 1:55:30 PM
Subject: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Hello Peter,
I am a part of the circle. You can ignore my voice as you ignore the same voice inside of you, but that is part of the problem. How can you do work to restore systems while denying the voices of your clients because part of what they have to say is not something you are willing to respond to? After months of silence I hope you are conscious that it takes an effort to avoid hearing or honoring what I have shared with you. If this continues I will link a company review to this exchange so that your clients understand that you cannot be trusted in this arena, which is nothing personal. You either make room or don't for all the voices at the table. Since my protest began with it feeling off to leave parts of me untethered and with a suggestion to ignore a school/therapist that was abusing their clients rather than attend to the ethical issues involved with staying silent, I think that is where the wound/blind spot lies, followed by leaving my voice behind. These blind spots are key to you being safe in space-holding so it's troubling that you do not recognize the opportunity to see another part of your/our shadow as a valuable priority. In doing so you are replicating the pattern of denial in other therapists that is one of the reasons I came to you. If you know your stuff you know that in addition to me working out my stuff, you would not have heard from me if I did not represent part of your work. This is a much greater value than having one more session - but only if you are able to hold space for what comes up. I am not leaving you or your clients behind simply because you are unconscious and dis-honoring. I care enough about all of us to speak up.
Sincerely,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/24/2019 2:57:03 PM
Subject: Re: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Dane - I don’t understand your email. You might be addressing the wrong Peter.
I have done several constellation sessions with you, some in person, some remotely, and I have giving my best ability to facilitate a sense of wholeness and wellbeing, adjusting to your needs for sensitive care and attention.
At some point I felt you might need a different kind of support than what I can offer.
If you would like to talk about this more, let me know what time works for you next week.
Best,
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/24/2019 8:45:48 PM
Subject: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Hi Peter,
Thanks for the reply:
1) I left a detailed message with you months ago asking if you would clear up two issues that felt off to me about the work.
2) You called back a week later, forgetting my message and asking if I wanted to schedule a session.
3) I explained that I might want to schedule a session but filled you in on the message you forgot and asked you if you had time then. You said you could not talk then.
4) I then asked you to call me any time it was convenient for you after 7pm and you said you would.
5) Months went by - you never did call or leave a message.
6) I e-mailed you bringing this pattern up - a pattern I find irresponsible given the nature of the work, and going into more detail, again asking for a response.
7) You never replied.
8) It has been many more months.
I see all of this as one pattern that is repeating because of a defense of some kind, so I think it's as much important for your work as it is for mine to address it. No client should have their truth at this level given the message that it does not matter by a mental/emotional practitioner in any field.
So yes, it is you, and yes I think that the nature of the work requires more space-holding than this pattern suggests. It sounds like you have forgotten all of this and want me to start from scratch. That's not a message of respect. I can give you dozens of times this and next week, say 4pm Monday.
Sincerely,
Dane
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/25/2019 9:26:25 AM
Subject: Re: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Dane - Monday at 6 pm works better, how is that for you?
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/24/2019 1:55:30 PM
Subject: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Hello Peter,
I am a part of the circle. You can ignore my voice as you ignore the same voice inside of you, but that is part of the problem. How can you do work to restore systems while denying the voices of your clients because part of what they have to say is not something you are willing to respond to? After months of silence I hope you are conscious that it takes an effort to avoid hearing or honoring what I have shared with you. If this continues I will link a company review to this exchange so that your clients understand that you cannot be trusted in this arena, which is nothing personal. You either make room or don't for all the voices at the table. Since my protest began with it feeling off to leave parts of me untethered and with a suggestion to ignore a school/therapist that was abusing their clients rather than attend to the ethical issues involved with staying silent, I think that is where the wound/blind spot lies, followed by leaving my voice behind. These blind spots are key to you being safe in space-holding so it's troubling that you do not recognize the opportunity to see another part of your/our shadow as a valuable priority. In doing so you are replicating the pattern of denial in other therapists that is one of the reasons I came to you. If you know your stuff you know that in addition to me working out my stuff, you would not have heard from me if I did not represent part of your work. This is a much greater value than having one more session - but only if you are able to hold space for what comes up. I am not leaving you or your clients behind simply because you are unconscious and dis-honoring. I care enough about all of us to speak up.
Sincerely,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/24/2019 2:57:03 PM
Subject: Re: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Dane - I don’t understand your email. You might be addressing the wrong Peter.
I have done several constellation sessions with you, some in person, some remotely, and I have giving my best ability to facilitate a sense of wholeness and wellbeing, adjusting to your needs for sensitive care and attention.
At some point I felt you might need a different kind of support than what I can offer.
If you would like to talk about this more, let me know what time works for you next week.
Best,
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/24/2019 8:45:48 PM
Subject: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Hi Peter,
Thanks for the reply:
1) I left a detailed message with you months ago asking if you would clear up two issues that felt off to me about the work.
2) You called back a week later, forgetting my message and asking if I wanted to schedule a session.
3) I explained that I might want to schedule a session but filled you in on the message you forgot and asked you if you had time then. You said you could not talk then.
4) I then asked you to call me any time it was convenient for you after 7pm and you said you would.
5) Months went by - you never did call or leave a message.
6) I e-mailed you bringing this pattern up - a pattern I find irresponsible given the nature of the work, and going into more detail, again asking for a response.
7) You never replied.
8) It has been many more months.
I see all of this as one pattern that is repeating because of a defense of some kind, so I think it's as much important for your work as it is for mine to address it. No client should have their truth at this level given the message that it does not matter by a mental/emotional practitioner in any field.
So yes, it is you, and yes I think that the nature of the work requires more space-holding than this pattern suggests. It sounds like you have forgotten all of this and want me to start from scratch. That's not a message of respect. I can give you dozens of times this and next week, say 4pm Monday.
Sincerely,
Dane
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/25/2019 9:26:25 AM
Subject: Re: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Dane - Monday at 6 pm works better, how is that for you?
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/25/2019 9:51:21 PM
Subject: Re[4]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
6pm it is. See attached audio so you have context for the conversation.
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 11:32:30 AM
Subject: Re: Re[4]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Talk to you then.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 1:07:59 PM
Subject: Re[6]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Please confirm that you have listened to the audio and also for the purpose of container for the conversation let me know if there is a limit to your time when you want to end the call. The number to call is 415 455 9161.
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 3:00:34 PM
Subject: Re: Re[6]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Dane confirmed, talk to you tmrw at 6 pm.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 4:54:52 PM
Subject: Re[8]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Thanks for the confirmation about the audio: [[and also for the purpose of container for the conversation let me know if there is a limit to your time when you want to end the call.]]
I want to note your choice to mask as much as possible about things and the way that this masking makes respecting any of your issues more difficult and the inability to protect myself from whatever defense patterns you may deploy to avoid feeling whatever feelings you don't want to feel. I see an emotional block pattern in place consistently and since I checked your background and training to see that you do have a mental framework for psychology, trauma and somatic and constellation work, the only thing that is not clear to me is whether your training is suggesting that this block you embody is in my interest as you see it, our interest, or whether you are aiming to control things in a certain way by being invisible, creating an imbalance of vulnerability that can easily be used to intimidate sensitive feelings into shame, rather than being voiced with the message "you don't matter enough to empathize with or to share my feelings with."
I will continue to name things and see how they can be honored or suppressed as a way of seeing you, which I see as important for the well-being of your clients. I have strong confidence from my experience that you are embodying 30% of your essential self, which I trust. I can't see the rest other than in the impact it has on me. If there is a trauma/adaptation defense that is strong in the other 70% of you, that has the mass necessary to easily dominate and manipulate the dynamic into something dangerous to what is good in me and you. I'm wanting to partner with that part in you who is solid and strong to map out any gaps and use my experience in service of that part of you. Understanding that this interaction is public hopefully helps more than it hurts the situation by balancing out the power dynamic (in a vertical relationship with you as the "expert" older professional male you hold the dominant position) which helps liberate my voice while also adding consciousness to your behavior as you notice more how your actions and inactions reflect or don't reflect best practices based on the data. Since I'm generally trying to medicate a culture in which some therapists abuse their patients and then shame the patient for not dealing with it, having this available to therapeutic clients is I think healing.
I generally think the circle is stronger and more intelligent than any one individual so my intention is to draw on your teachers, referencing this interaction, if I cannot go away from the interaction with what feels healthiest in me being honored. I am conducting this with the intention of advocating for the health and healing of sexually abused traumatized clients now and in the future, referencing that in myself in context with the roughly 1000 hours of data I have been studying since our sessions to help me understand how the virus of sexual shame and abuse spreads in our culture, and what medicine stops it.
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/25/2019 9:51:21 PM
Subject: Re[4]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
6pm it is. See attached audio so you have context for the conversation.
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 11:32:30 AM
Subject: Re: Re[4]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Talk to you then.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 1:07:59 PM
Subject: Re[6]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Please confirm that you have listened to the audio and also for the purpose of container for the conversation let me know if there is a limit to your time when you want to end the call. The number to call is 415 455 9161.
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 3:00:34 PM
Subject: Re: Re[6]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Dane confirmed, talk to you tmrw at 6 pm.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/26/2019 4:54:52 PM
Subject: Re[8]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Thanks for the confirmation about the audio: [[and also for the purpose of container for the conversation let me know if there is a limit to your time when you want to end the call.]]
I want to note your choice to mask as much as possible about things and the way that this masking makes respecting any of your issues more difficult and the inability to protect myself from whatever defense patterns you may deploy to avoid feeling whatever feelings you don't want to feel. I see an emotional block pattern in place consistently and since I checked your background and training to see that you do have a mental framework for psychology, trauma and somatic and constellation work, the only thing that is not clear to me is whether your training is suggesting that this block you embody is in my interest as you see it, our interest, or whether you are aiming to control things in a certain way by being invisible, creating an imbalance of vulnerability that can easily be used to intimidate sensitive feelings into shame, rather than being voiced with the message "you don't matter enough to empathize with or to share my feelings with."
I will continue to name things and see how they can be honored or suppressed as a way of seeing you, which I see as important for the well-being of your clients. I have strong confidence from my experience that you are embodying 30% of your essential self, which I trust. I can't see the rest other than in the impact it has on me. If there is a trauma/adaptation defense that is strong in the other 70% of you, that has the mass necessary to easily dominate and manipulate the dynamic into something dangerous to what is good in me and you. I'm wanting to partner with that part in you who is solid and strong to map out any gaps and use my experience in service of that part of you. Understanding that this interaction is public hopefully helps more than it hurts the situation by balancing out the power dynamic (in a vertical relationship with you as the "expert" older professional male you hold the dominant position) which helps liberate my voice while also adding consciousness to your behavior as you notice more how your actions and inactions reflect or don't reflect best practices based on the data. Since I'm generally trying to medicate a culture in which some therapists abuse their patients and then shame the patient for not dealing with it, having this available to therapeutic clients is I think healing.
I generally think the circle is stronger and more intelligent than any one individual so my intention is to draw on your teachers, referencing this interaction, if I cannot go away from the interaction with what feels healthiest in me being honored. I am conducting this with the intention of advocating for the health and healing of sexually abused traumatized clients now and in the future, referencing that in myself in context with the roughly 1000 hours of data I have been studying since our sessions to help me understand how the virus of sexual shame and abuse spreads in our culture, and what medicine stops it.
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
On May 27, 2019, at 3:33 PM, Dane Rose <dane@mysticallandscapes.com> wrote:
Listen to this prior to calling.
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/27/2019 6:09:49 PM
Subject: Re: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Call me at 4153287336 and we have time.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 12:22:02 AM
Subject: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Hello Peter,
I note that you called and wrote:
Listen to this prior to calling.
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/27/2019 6:09:49 PM
Subject: Re: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Call me at 4153287336 and we have time.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 12:22:02 AM
Subject: Re[2]: What is suppressed and denied cannot integrate
Hello Peter,
I note that you called and wrote:
- Without letting me know that you had listened to the audio or acknowledged it.
- Without for the third time providing container.
- Ignoring my statement that this was a trigger set up.
That is not a recipe for respect or shifting a pattern. It is a recipe for willful violation of your client's needs around trauma.
Your website will be ready in a few days. One of the things I want to know is why this occurs. Is there no module in any of your seminars about best practices and ethics in this situation or is it there and you choose to ignore it? I would appreciate any help you can give me in terms of your instructors/teachers that you reference on your website to help me find out. I will invite anyone who is willing to speak to that or not and include that in the documentary and website about therapeutic ethics. Just so you know, I consider it unethical to advertise training and not provide information about the source, just as I consider it abusive to willfully ignore a traumatized client's repeated request for container. Either way I will try and locate your instructors but consider it an act of good faith for you to assist and take an interest in whether or not your habits are aligned with the well-being of your clients in all areas you exert professional influence.
This e-mail and your reply or silence will be added to the website. I also encourage you to familiarize yourself with my project to bring attention to the sexual abuses at the Human Awareness Institute: https://humanawarenessinstituteatchoice.com/ and to consider the ethics involved in your practice of hearing about sexual abuse by professionals and apparently not feeling any need to either see what's going on, prevent further abuse or support your clients in stemming the cycle of therapeutic abuse. Given the nature of traumatic isolation this kind of support is needed and appropriate to take an interest in for any professional learning about it. If it's not in your training modules, I think it should be added to your curriculum, which is one reason I will bring this e-mail and website to the attention to your teachers and ask them how it is that you don't know this. I already know why you don't know what I need in our interactions, but not why this does not seem to be on your radar at all. If you are content to live in a world where professionals sexually abuse their clients and cover it up and then hire you to relieve some of the stress, then that is consistent with your actions. That is not the behavior of an informed healer who loves their work and their clients and who understands that even a call or e-mail from a fellow professional curbs the behavior of abuse in a way that may have helped prevent the latest victim. Your silence and your voice matter and part of my responsibility is to see that you know that or that your clients know that you will not show a personal interest in preventing sexual abuses by professionals.
I do not consider you a healthy person to speak with at this point about sexual abuse since your pattern of avoiding all empathy is itself triggering but if you will appoint a third party who has some training in this field and you have an interest in learning from them for the benefit of future patients I will contribute my time to that effort and amend your site to show your interest, or your lack of it.
Sincerely,
Dane
Sharing the Lay of the Land around Peter Devries and my final recording to him.
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 10:37:06 AM
Subject: Judgement is the instrument of separation
Dane - thanks for your response. Yes I listened to your voice recording and I find it shocking and violent, and it causes me a lot of pain, which I have to deal with. What might have happened to you, you pass on to others. The abandoned become the abandoners, the victims become the perpetrators. You have perpetrator energy toward me and others, and you have become a sexual predator yourself.
You and many others, and many parts of our society, are caught and gripped by victim-perpetrator dynamics. In the politics, economy, health care, intimate relationships, the Internet ,you name it you can find these dynamics.
The healing is about transcending these dynamics. Acting them out is only keeping it
in place, generation after generation. War after war after war.
Ultimately we are destroying the earth, that which sustains and nurtures us.
I wonder why something that is called mystical would destroy something else that is also a form of the mystical.
I honor and acknowledge the truth in your experience. What is happening could be the process of a healing movement. If you and I can not transcend the perpetrator-victim dynamics then it is very hopeless for the fate of the world. We have to begin we ourselves, me included.
Again I feel shocked by your voice recording, I feel it as a knife in my heart and my heart is bleeding. My intentions have been good and I am not perfect. Trauma healing is a very complicated process and we are all traumatized, me included. I work with my trauma, and to some extend I have become a wounded healer.
Plus I work as an empath and am very sensitive and delicate. I have walked in your shoes, felt and sensed many aspects of your psyche. I know what the pain feels like.
Before you judge me, please walk in my shoes. If you have walked a 1000 steps in my shoes, I fully accept your judgement and critique.
I am open to meeting by phone to talk and listen about this further. We can take 1.5 hr to give it a time frame. My suggestion is to have a structured conversation where you talk for 5 to 10 min, and I listen, then I talk for 5 to 10 min, and you listen. This is just a suggestion. You might have other suggestions.
Around trauma we need a safe container to explore. I would like this conversation to be safe and that you and I matter and respect each other.
Let me know what is a good time for you. Tmrw or Friday afternoon could work for me.
Best,
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 10:37:06 AM
Subject: Judgement is the instrument of separation
Dane - thanks for your response. Yes I listened to your voice recording and I find it shocking and violent, and it causes me a lot of pain, which I have to deal with. What might have happened to you, you pass on to others. The abandoned become the abandoners, the victims become the perpetrators. You have perpetrator energy toward me and others, and you have become a sexual predator yourself.
You and many others, and many parts of our society, are caught and gripped by victim-perpetrator dynamics. In the politics, economy, health care, intimate relationships, the Internet ,you name it you can find these dynamics.
The healing is about transcending these dynamics. Acting them out is only keeping it
in place, generation after generation. War after war after war.
Ultimately we are destroying the earth, that which sustains and nurtures us.
I wonder why something that is called mystical would destroy something else that is also a form of the mystical.
I honor and acknowledge the truth in your experience. What is happening could be the process of a healing movement. If you and I can not transcend the perpetrator-victim dynamics then it is very hopeless for the fate of the world. We have to begin we ourselves, me included.
Again I feel shocked by your voice recording, I feel it as a knife in my heart and my heart is bleeding. My intentions have been good and I am not perfect. Trauma healing is a very complicated process and we are all traumatized, me included. I work with my trauma, and to some extend I have become a wounded healer.
Plus I work as an empath and am very sensitive and delicate. I have walked in your shoes, felt and sensed many aspects of your psyche. I know what the pain feels like.
Before you judge me, please walk in my shoes. If you have walked a 1000 steps in my shoes, I fully accept your judgement and critique.
I am open to meeting by phone to talk and listen about this further. We can take 1.5 hr to give it a time frame. My suggestion is to have a structured conversation where you talk for 5 to 10 min, and I listen, then I talk for 5 to 10 min, and you listen. This is just a suggestion. You might have other suggestions.
Around trauma we need a safe container to explore. I would like this conversation to be safe and that you and I matter and respect each other.
Let me know what is a good time for you. Tmrw or Friday afternoon could work for me.
Best,
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
From: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 1:10:25 PM
Subject: Re: Judgement is the instrument of separation
Hello Peter,
I have made a recording that addresses each of your points.
Here is the website that shows the pattern in a way that a neutral 3rd party with trauma training should be able to use to diagnose: https://constellationworks.org/
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
To: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 1:10:25 PM
Subject: Re: Judgement is the instrument of separation
Hello Peter,
I have made a recording that addresses each of your points.
Here is the website that shows the pattern in a way that a neutral 3rd party with trauma training should be able to use to diagnose: https://constellationworks.org/
Best,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 1:28:06 PM
Subject: Re: Judgement is the instrument of separation
The main reason I couldn’t continue being around you is that you are a pedofile, a sexual predator, who abuses little girls in Thailand and The Philippines.
I might make a website with that information and you see what happens to your business and clients.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 1:28:06 PM
Subject: Re: Judgement is the instrument of separation
The main reason I couldn’t continue being around you is that you are a pedofile, a sexual predator, who abuses little girls in Thailand and The Philippines.
I might make a website with that information and you see what happens to your business and clients.
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
Support for Peter in the form of encouraging getting help and support.
Witnessing What is Happening Now
Peter,
I accept your apology but I hope that your observation of this cycle helps you understand my concerns. In that light, here is the e-mail I was editing before I received your apology. I believe there are structural shifts you may be able to easily implement that will help you and your clients.... I would add that there is nothing about my sexuality either in or out of our sessions that I have not published and stand by as sincere efforts for healthy, mutual relating so it does disturb me that you perceived me that way more than that you would talk about your perceptions. Personally, if I thought you were abusing your wife I would show some interest in that with the goal of helping you both, not withdraw without saying anything. Now to the e-mail I was writing...
Your statement is a violation of multiple therapeutic and legal ethics. Since your role is as a trauma healer and it is not acceptable to leave things in this state, I will begin legal proceedings with you shortly unless you:
a) Hire a neutral mediator to review your conduct for ethics and show an interest in responding.
b) Apologize for abusing the influence of your therapeutic role to intentionally harm a client.
3) Show some ability to respond to what I've brought up rather than endlessly ignoring them.
As it happens, I have written two books that touch on sexual abuses:
1) Successfully Dating Foreigners is a book I wrote in English, translated into Thai and gave for free to 5,000 Thai women to help them avoid unnecessary pain with foreign men. A mediator can read the many "thank you" letters I received from women who said the book was very useful and a kind gesture.
2) Another book marriage and dating in Thailand is to help western men be more sensitive to the vulnerabilities in Thai women and honor them.
In addition, my Filipina wife who I married after Honeylyn refused to respond as you predicted, and hurt me again would be happy to talk to a Neutral party about our marriage and my behavior in Filippines and Thailand to allay any passive concerns you have about the woman in my life. But please note that I am again responding to even your most outrageous concerns spoken after the fact and you are continuing to ignore any path forward:
1) A third party.
2) Apologize.
3) Show empathy for me before you bring up your stuff.
4) Tell me who gave you your certificates to complete the feedback loop to help our culture generate healthier therapists who know what to do in this situation.
Your e-mails will continue to go up on your site with my replies and if the lawsuit is needed that process will also be linked to the site. I would look at the opportunity you are blowing: You have a chance on a website you don't have to pay for to show your training at trauma resolution, at sexual abuse education, at good communication and at asking for help. The choice is yours. If you are in trauma right now then you may be as stuck as I was after leaving your sessions, and not knowing what to do.
I am making a documentary about all of this because I think it's outrageous that people have to pay money to professionals to behave this way. You just wrote me an e-mail about judgment. What do you think your e-mail is? Do you feel able to behave the way you ask your clients to behave? You have deepened my alarm for your clients with this e-mail which does nothing to help the situation, and actively avoids my practical and obviously generous offer to take my time for free to help you do better with future clients with the help of a mediator.
With determination,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
I accept your apology but I hope that your observation of this cycle helps you understand my concerns. In that light, here is the e-mail I was editing before I received your apology. I believe there are structural shifts you may be able to easily implement that will help you and your clients.... I would add that there is nothing about my sexuality either in or out of our sessions that I have not published and stand by as sincere efforts for healthy, mutual relating so it does disturb me that you perceived me that way more than that you would talk about your perceptions. Personally, if I thought you were abusing your wife I would show some interest in that with the goal of helping you both, not withdraw without saying anything. Now to the e-mail I was writing...
Your statement is a violation of multiple therapeutic and legal ethics. Since your role is as a trauma healer and it is not acceptable to leave things in this state, I will begin legal proceedings with you shortly unless you:
a) Hire a neutral mediator to review your conduct for ethics and show an interest in responding.
b) Apologize for abusing the influence of your therapeutic role to intentionally harm a client.
3) Show some ability to respond to what I've brought up rather than endlessly ignoring them.
As it happens, I have written two books that touch on sexual abuses:
1) Successfully Dating Foreigners is a book I wrote in English, translated into Thai and gave for free to 5,000 Thai women to help them avoid unnecessary pain with foreign men. A mediator can read the many "thank you" letters I received from women who said the book was very useful and a kind gesture.
2) Another book marriage and dating in Thailand is to help western men be more sensitive to the vulnerabilities in Thai women and honor them.
In addition, my Filipina wife who I married after Honeylyn refused to respond as you predicted, and hurt me again would be happy to talk to a Neutral party about our marriage and my behavior in Filippines and Thailand to allay any passive concerns you have about the woman in my life. But please note that I am again responding to even your most outrageous concerns spoken after the fact and you are continuing to ignore any path forward:
1) A third party.
2) Apologize.
3) Show empathy for me before you bring up your stuff.
4) Tell me who gave you your certificates to complete the feedback loop to help our culture generate healthier therapists who know what to do in this situation.
Your e-mails will continue to go up on your site with my replies and if the lawsuit is needed that process will also be linked to the site. I would look at the opportunity you are blowing: You have a chance on a website you don't have to pay for to show your training at trauma resolution, at sexual abuse education, at good communication and at asking for help. The choice is yours. If you are in trauma right now then you may be as stuck as I was after leaving your sessions, and not knowing what to do.
I am making a documentary about all of this because I think it's outrageous that people have to pay money to professionals to behave this way. You just wrote me an e-mail about judgment. What do you think your e-mail is? Do you feel able to behave the way you ask your clients to behave? You have deepened my alarm for your clients with this e-mail which does nothing to help the situation, and actively avoids my practical and obviously generous offer to take my time for free to help you do better with future clients with the help of a mediator.
With determination,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
Peter wrote the following apology before I finished editing the above e-mail. He appears overloaded, based on his reactivity and incoherence and so I decided not to send responses to him when he is saying that it is "best" to end our communication. Since he is not asking me, or listening to my requests I believe that it is best for him that we stop a process in which he is too reactive to be effective as a professional. This is a key point to know in therapy with anyone. I wish him well in his healing/recovery/sorting and believe that he is at a real limit here. What I'm trying to illuminate is how these limits can become the shame/wound of the client when they are not spelled out. For example, if Peter says "I'm sorry that I can't go into this terrain without getting so thick in my stuff that I can't hold space for your stuff," that is him owning his part in the process breaking down. With him suggesting that the reason he cannot do this is that I am so unacceptable he can't work with me, it actually damages the essential beauty, truth and goodness in my seeking out a professional to help me sort out what to do about being hurt by another therapist and coming to Peter for help, only to feel that my needs are not valuable enough to respond to. And seeking to sort out that in part for Peter's next clients (I don't make a dime doing any of this) getting attacked for speaking up in a way that lets me know that Peter never saw me in the first place - he was dealing with his own projections that he did not check out or communicate. The "wounded healer" is an archetype. What I want to draw attention to is how common it is for the client when the wound is not spoken to take on the therapists wound as their own and feel left with it in un-integrated space because the therapist acts the wound out [in this case his judgments about whatever he believes to be the case about my sexuality in Philippines and Thailand] without speaking them so that I have a chance to either clear up his questions or concerns, but also have a chance to defend against a healers unspoken projection of disgust. Because a healer will act out what they project/believe, and it will influence the work, Peter must talk about that at that time to bring it to light. When we began the work Peter was a pretty clear channel and the last session I had it seemed he was not representing the constellation but pushing for something from his own mental map of the situation. This left the last session more confusing so it seemed like the right time to stop. One thing I'd like Peter to work out is how to handle this type of situation differently. As soon as he has a belief about anything he has strong feelings about if he does not integrate that he suppresses it in the session. And if that get's suppressed, then the truths that relate to what is suppressed get manipulated as well. This gives the client the "healer's" distorted map of reality rather than the actual constellation and that is much more dangerous than the client using their normal decision-making system, since in my case 85% of the time I make decisions that increase my well-being and one reason I'm doing this project is that statistic often drops way down when I take direction from a professional who is influencing without diagnosing what's happening.
------ Forwarded Message ------
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 2:45:09 PM
Subject: Re: Judgement is the instrument of separation
Dane,
I apologize for my previous email. I was angry but that is no excuse. I should not have said those things and further, I would never publicize anything you have told me in confidence.
I am saddened that all has come to this and that I seem to have hurt you. Please know, it was not my intention to hurt you.
I truly wish you well Dane and I do feel it’s best now that we end our communications.
Take care
Peter
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
------ Forwarded Message ------
From: "constellationworks@gmail.com" <constellationworks@gmail.com>
To: "Dane Rose" <dane@mysticallandscapes.com>
Sent: 5/29/2019 2:45:09 PM
Subject: Re: Judgement is the instrument of separation
Dane,
I apologize for my previous email. I was angry but that is no excuse. I should not have said those things and further, I would never publicize anything you have told me in confidence.
I am saddened that all has come to this and that I seem to have hurt you. Please know, it was not my intention to hurt you.
I truly wish you well Dane and I do feel it’s best now that we end our communications.
Take care
Peter
Peter DeVries
415 383 8634
constellationworks@gmail.com
ptrdvrs@icloud.com
www.constellationworks.com
May 30th Meta Thoughts about Process with Peter Devries
Final Recording - The Meta of the Meta with Peter Devries
I made this video on surviving therapy as a general guide for clients wishing to heal.
Hello Peter as representative of the archetypal therapist,
Your website is updated with various thoughts that I hope will help the therapeutic community and the public understand corners in the western therapeutic paradigm that are poorly designed for both the benefit of the healer and the client and need attention. Attached is a recording that I will add - along with anything you choose to reply - to the site that reflects the freedom you gave to my conscious mind by articulating your unspoken judgment of my sexual behavior. The joy/peace that I sense in my body around this does not feel personal - but representative of a wave of suffering that I see/feel in my body and choose to attend because it affects many.
Blessings,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
Your website is updated with various thoughts that I hope will help the therapeutic community and the public understand corners in the western therapeutic paradigm that are poorly designed for both the benefit of the healer and the client and need attention. Attached is a recording that I will add - along with anything you choose to reply - to the site that reflects the freedom you gave to my conscious mind by articulating your unspoken judgment of my sexual behavior. The joy/peace that I sense in my body around this does not feel personal - but representative of a wave of suffering that I see/feel in my body and choose to attend because it affects many.
Blessings,
Dane
Dane E. Rose, Owner
Mystical Landscapes Inc.
www.Mysticallandscapes.com
Landline: (415) 455 9161
What I found liberating about your voicing your projections of pedophilia